"...we all know 'guns' would never tackle a female in public – he is just too smart to let others see him do that."

Game #4 for the Verdasys softball team appeared to be a satisfying victory. Photographic evidence indicates that journalists may have had a beef with the player known as “guns” as he was repeatedly pictured dropping the ball, falling down and even tackling one of the other players while they were rounding second base. This is of course a completely jaded view of the events because we all know “guns” is a great player and would never tackle a female in public – he is just too smart to let others see him do that. This is precisely why the Absent Fan avoids traditional journalism and so called “facts” like who, what where and that stuff.

Overall, while the other team was said to have had a ringer, swatting pitches into the trees like he was using a ping-pong ball with a tennis racquet, the Verdasys team was probably letting off steam and pent up office aggression with volleys of their own, accounting for the decided victory. The corporate counsel even attended the event (or more likely just posed for pictures to make it look real) – leading some to believe that the game was perhaps a complex rouse to promote some business activity – the only plausible reason why company executives might attend such an event when beer and food were not even present. Next time you shake their hands – check for calluses and a sun tan to be sure.

The Absent Fan is an anonymous contributor to the reporting staff of Verdasys Softball. This story was not subject to the approval of the league or its clubs.